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I did it. Boldly, I declared what I needed from the friendship.

She stopped by for an impromptu visit, full of complaints and criticisms, and I said, “Enough! I don’t want to talk about other people or problems. I want to talk about the lack of balance and the direction of our relationship.” She was shocked and had no response. Her comfort seemed to be in sharing woe.

Clarity

Now, I grieve the loss of a friendship. Once we were sisters of common thought and spirit. Now, the energy from what was once a compelling friendship depletes me. The conversations have become one-sided. I am only here for disposable comments rather than as a friend, sharing ideas. Complaints are more likely than meaningful exchange. The affinity has shifted, the positive magnetism has become negative, and I feel myself pushing away.

We parted ways after our talk that day. Searching for reciprocal relationships, I must pursue friendships that are healthy, positive and inspiring. I must be deliberate and intentional in all my actions, including the creation of new friendships and the careful rebuilding or dismantling of existing ones.

Quote

Richard Moss, in his book, The Black Butterfly, states: “Thus, we fall into periods of unknowing and uncertainty—dark nights—only to rediscover our old values and relationships, but at a new level of meaning and consecration. This is a process of dissolution, of death and rebirth. It seems wrong, needlessly painful; it is not what we intended. Yet it is this very process that is empowering us.”

Related Musical Story – Good Intentions

CREDITS

Featured Image generated by the authors and Gemini AI
Music – Good Intentions is from the album Hungry Again by C&E

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Grace and forgiveness.

Emerson has recently come to realize that in this lifetime he wants to focus on forgiveness, for both himself and others. Basically, that means releasing blame and resentment by choosing the path of forgiveness as the ultimate solution.  Although the idea seems rather simple, it’s not so easy in practice. At this point in his life, he feels that it’s the perfect time to look deeper within and try to make an incremental shift into living more gracefully.

The idea of embracing forgiveness is certainly not new for him. In fact, he broached the subject in his mid-forties. He felt that various elements of his life  were out of balance. Ambitions needed to be tamed, along with his insistence that he, alone, could make things happen. He was fully engaged with his ego. He lacked vulnerability. But he needed a path forward to change his ingrained persona and habits. His naïveté convinced him that he simply needed to push this new agenda along, so he never imagined the process could be decades in the unfolding. But also in naïveté, he somehow intuited the importance of grace and forgiveness, and that at least became a place to begin.

Instrument of change

In times of turmoil or uncertainty, playing guitar was his way to sort things out.  Years ago, he began writing a song he called Gracefully. However, like many other songs, it remained unfinished. Why? Well, he excused the reluctance to complete the song by being just too busy “getting ahead.” But unfinished or unresolved issues have a way of simply going dormant, rather than going away. When a twinge of dissatisfaction peaked again, that unfinished song sprang to life to create another opportunity to take action, which might also result in personal change.

The unintended gift

Then, one day Em came across a sweater that was left behind by our college-bound son, Aaron. Em put on the sweater as a gesture of sentimental closeness and ended up wearing it nearly every day. He felt graced and strengthened by Aaron whenever he wore it and imagined that it was left behind just for him.

So we had the perfect creative storm: an unfinished song and a magical sweater. To further things along, Cheryl took up the challenge to complete the lyrics. That was the impetus that was needed. The song was soon finished and eventually recorded in 2003. Together, we wrote it for two voices in harmony instead of one, which was another indication that a change was in the air.

Fast forward twenty plus years, and the topic of Forgiveness arrived front and center in Em’s awareness once again. He was no longer interested in the spotlight or in following ambitions. Instead, he imagined himself quietly unseen, leaping for joy with his renewed enthusiasm for grace and forgiveness.

Recently he revisited the completed song to re-energize and re-commit to change, with a more mature perspective and a strong desire to make real progress—hopeful that he’ll eventually catch on and catch up.

Even as we’re often unknowingly graced by others, we may also acknowledge self-grace. Our sincere efforts and persistent dedication are rewards in themselves. Surely, living gracefully is a very particular feeling of being buoyant, floating both within ourselves and above the earthly strife, no matter what the circumstances are.

“Quietly and sometimes unknowingly, we give each other strength beyond measure”—excerpted from the book, Time to Partner.

Music – Gracefully

 

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We spend our entire lives “Reaching,” for one thing or another.

We reach for the alarm clock to turn it off or maybe hit the snooze button for 9 more minutes of sleep. We reach for a jar on the top shelf, only to find it beyond our grasp. Standing on tiptoes, we stretch, desperately trying to nudge the jar just a bit closer. We’re constantly reaching just a little more.

We reach for that long sought-after goal. We reach the end of our rope. We even reach for the stars. Babies instinctively reach out for the warm touch of security. And finally, when all is said and done, we reach the end of this lifetime.

Our understanding is that success is in the “grasping.” Whatever we seek must be captured—safe and secure within our hands. But should we come up “empty-handed,” we imagine that something has tragically slipped away from us.

Yet we know that “grasping” and “holding” are only illusions. It’s not possible to “hold onto” anything. Instead, we see that life happens mainly through the act of Reaching. When we focus on the reaching, we begin to understand that the desire, the aspiration itself animates life.

This idea was expressed by great philosophers. Marcus Aurelius said: “It does not matter what you bear, but how you bear it.” This suggests attitude and intention is far more important than the results. Centuries later, Mahatma Gandhi echoed a similar thought: “Whatever you do in life will be insignificant , but it is important that you do it . . .”

Without regret, our intention is to energetically reach and reach and reach, until one day, we will finally grasp a humble truth—that a life well-lived exists only in each moment of striving, in “reaching,” and that in itself is the prize.

Music – Reach

 

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Hope. The very word implies an intention for a future. When hope is shared among and with others it becomes even more potent. The simple act of holding hope has helped us through some tough times. It’s such a powerful idea that we wove it into the lyrics of our song and story called “Circle of Trust.” We often hear about acts of kindness, when people experience empathy for another and “hold space” or allow a safe, non-judgmental listening. Compassion and trust create a unique “micro” environment. A gathering of such like-minded folks, harnesses an energetic force that just might change the world. Especially in these times of division and uncertainty, we can choose to be holders of hope in a circle of trust.

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Quote
“Then suddenly I saw the world within, never seen before. Since that moment of stealing a glance, I want even more.”   Secret Passageways – May, 2011

Palazzo Vecchio

 

Note
Architectural masterpieces of Medieval Europe offer broad perspectives into the lives of our ancestral heritage, while providing glimpses into our personal interior “architecture.” As we follow leads of interest or intuition, wandering through the shadowy halls and moody attics of the world’s most treasured places, we’re simultaneously given passage into meandering stories and new perspectives into our ever-evolving selves.

Beyond every massive stone wall and imposing facade there may be secret spaces and hidden gardens where the creative spirit soars.

As we explore the world around us, we explore the world within.

Music

Click here to view original story with lyrics and video.

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This quote is from the Lyrics of the musical story called “Follow the Leader.” We all participate in the spectacle of the showman at one time or another whether we know it or not—for good or sometimes not.  Just click the link above and you’ll be whisked away to the original story, music, lyrics and more.

Follow the Leader

 

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This quote comes from the lyrics of the song called “Little Things.” Can you remember that last moment that crept up on you and you laughed so hard that you experienced rare tears of joy? What was it that brought about such a powerful visceral response? Buried within that moment is a treasure-trove of information about some part of you. Aren’t we all puzzles, piecing together the aspects of who we are? Take a look inside—there may be a surprise awaiting.

Related Story

Yesterday Me

Understanding the origin of tears can take a little digging. Do I cry because a tender moment surfaces from my memory bank ? Maybe a secret longing has awakened and it leaps into my throat. Are my tears ones of joy or sadness? Perhaps the source can’t quite be found or articulated. These lyrics were penned years ago in a story called “Yesterday Me.” Although the words weren’t written yesterday, the sentiment persists.