Friendship

I did it. Boldly, I declared what I needed from the friendship.

She stopped by for an impromptu visit, full of complaints and criticisms, and I said, “Enough! I don’t want to talk about other people or problems. I want to talk about the lack of balance and the direction of our relationship.” She was shocked and had no response. Her comfort seemed to be in sharing woe.

Now, I grieve the loss of a friendship. Once we were sisters of common thought and spirit. Now, the energy from what was once a compelling friendship depletes me. The conversations have become one-sided. I am only here for disposable comments rather than as a friend, sharing ideas. Complaints are more likely than meaningful exchange. The affinity has shifted, the positive magnetism has become negative, and I feel myself pushing away.

We parted ways after our talk that day. Searching for reciprocal relationships, I must pursue friendships that are healthy, positive and inspiring. I must be deliberate and intentional in all my actions, including the creation of new friendships and the careful rebuilding or dismantling of existing ones.

Quote

Richard Moss, in his book, The Black Butterfly, states: “Thus, we fall into periods of unknowing and uncertainty—dark nights—only to rediscover our old values and relationships, but at a new level of meaning and consecration. This is a process of dissolution, of death and rebirth. It seems wrong, needlessly painful; it is not what we intended. Yet it is this very process that is empowering us.”

Related Musical Story – Good Intentions

CREDITS

Featured Image generated by the authors and Gemini AI
Music – Good Intentions is from the album Hungry Again by C&E

There’s nothing quite like a good friend!

The saying goes that all you really need in this life is love, a therapist and a good friend, not necessarily in that order, or even all of them at the same time. The “Big Three.” It’s dynamic. For us the love can be a person, a thing or an activity; the therapist can be a religious leader, counselor or healer; and the friend can be a spouse, family member, acquaintance or a beloved pet. In fact, the best of times is when love, the therapist and the friend ARE experienced, all three together. And once in a great while, it’s possible to have all three wrapped into one—for example, in the form of that special little dog. She can be a trusted confidant, someone who will never disclose a single word you’ve said. She can deliver fur therapy that dries the most mournful tears. She might follow every step you make, mirroring the very essence of friendship. To imagine Life without the “Big Three” is to ask the question: How long can you hold your breath under water?

Not that long.

Our morning walk/exercise takes us by a beautiful sculpture that always makes us smile. The name is “Flame of Friendship” by the famous Mexican artist/sculptor Leonardo Nierman, located between the Marina and the Convention Center in San Diego. It was dedicated in 2000 as an expression of the warm friendship that exists between the US and Mexico—a centuries-old partnership, an intertwining of cultures, faiths and the very definitions of the two countries.

Friendship is a fundamental human need that finds expression at many levels: personal, interpersonal, cultural and national, creating bonds that we might literally guard with our very lives. Why? Because our humanity depends on them. We share a fundamental human need for warmth and connection. May the Flame of Friendship! burn ever more brightly.

Gallery

You might be interested in few other stories and songs about different expressions of friendship that have been meaningful for us over the years. Following are three musical stories that begin painting a picture of what friendship/love can look like in the everyday and how simple actions can instantly plumb the depths of feeling, emotion and life itself.