A Sign of the Times
Question: Since when did traffic signs become entertainment? Answer: When the inventive Italians started imagining different possibilities. For example, what’s so funny about a white “T” with a red top that means “no outlet?” Or, how about a curved line indicating a wide swing to the right. Or a straight white arrow pointing the way? You’re probably thinking there’s nothing here to chuckle about, but that’s just not so. After all, we are in the land where an enormous ancient stone castle can be reduced down into a cute little international symbol that everybody understands. For starters, let’s take a closer look at the segnale stradale di nonno, grandaddy of roadsigns.
The exclamation point says it all! No matter what the circumstances, it always means the same thing—PAY ATTENTION! SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS GOING ON HERE! The problem could be anything—no white lines, crumbling shoulder, tree in the road, you name it. Keep it simple! Just stick an exclamation point there. HEY, HEY, WATCH OUT!! Apparently, they have an entire warehouse (probably in Rome) full of those useful little roadside logos, and they’re authorized to proudly display them as often and for as long as needed. In other words, FOREVER! High water in the winter? Nothing would say that more eloquently than an exclamation point. Slap a simple wavy water sign below and Voila! You’ve been warned. Sure, it’s August now and there’s no hint of rain for months, but why take down the sign? Why ever take down any of the signs? It’s a really inexpensive solution to just about every transportation issue or problem.
Signs are so compelling that they’ve actually become interactive. Apparently, a new order of artists with a strange sense of humor are doing their own enhancements. How? When? We don’t know. But we’ve started “collecting” the creatively altered signs by snapping a pic or two as we pass by. Some are sweet, like the right curve sign that’s posted as we drive through Borgunto. Okay, everybody can tell there’s a curve in the road—duh. But wait! Did we see a clever modification to that sign. Slow down for a closer look. Sure enough.
Someone has used the shape of the arrow to represent a human body. A circle’s been added for a head and then, believe it or not, a top hat has been placed on the head. Must have come from some formal event. But what’s he doing? Taking a second look, we see that he’s picking a flower. And inside the center of the flower is a tiny heart. What??!! How funny is that? Some well-meaning street artist decided to lighten the driving mood by making this unnecessarily serious sign more whimsical.
Then there are the angel signs. Frequently you’ll see those single white arrows on a blue background indicating that you should continue straight ahead. No curves, angles or intersections. No nothing (as Italians might say, never fearing the dreaded double negative). Simple. But upon closer inspection, there’s a white circle “head” added to the arrow, which makes the points of the arrow look like wings. Then, floating above the head is a delicate little halo. Really. This sign seems to be something of a theme, since we’ve seen them in various places in and around the city. They’re always exactly the same, as though some “angel kit” has been distributed to a group of do-gooders to develop this new meta-signagethroughout Tuscany.
What a sweet idea. Any motorist’s blood pressure would surely drop 20 points, just by gazing upon astraight arrow angel. They’ve become the guardians of the roadways, and believe me, Italian roadways can use all the heavenly intervention they can get. Seeing these signs makes me think of Dan Brown’s novel, Angels and Demons. Angels are on the signs and demons are behind the steering wheels. Just kidding. Italians are among the best drivers in the world. They really are.
But there’s more. Last week we came upon a somewhat disturbing detour to the airport. No big deal, the route was clearly marked until we took an impromptu shortcut. We imagined that a quick left turn would take us back to the main road, beyond the construction zone. We passed through an intersection and I glanced up to see the familiar white “T” with the red top. Oops! Dead end. The only alternative was to back up to the nearest block where we could turn around.
As we backed into the main intersection, I looked up at the dead-end sign again and noticed that something was different. I tilted my head, ever so slightly toward the right and recognized the stylized silhouette that had been applied to the sign. It was the unmistakable image of the crucifixion. Baffling. Strange. And disturbing.
Give me the angel sign, or that formal guy picking a flower. Or where is that castle? I’ve come to expect amusement on the road. Driving is serious enough without being jarred by provocative images. If I want heavy, I’ll watch the news. If I want serious, I’ll read the headlines. Driving should be a light-hearted tour through the Tuscan countryside, right? And it often is. That is, until you try to pass an old Fiat Cinquecento that’s straddling the center line on a blind curve, where you encounter an oncoming motorino; a garbage truck parked at a dangerous angle next to the curb; a rusted turquoise ape (a barely roadworthy golf-cart truck) struggling to make it up the hill; and a senior citizen crossing the road, looking down, with his hand outstretched to stop traffic. Then suddenly, it’s not quite so amusing! Classic, maybe! Just not quite so entertaining.
August 20, 2011
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