We enjoy starting each day with a protein drink. BUT, we’re in Italy for half the year so protein powder is hard to find and extremely expensive. What to do. . .what to do.

The simple solution was to bring it with us from home in the US. However, with airline regulations becoming more strict everyday, that option has slowly eroded. With five pounds for me and five for Em, we often teeter close to the airline weight limit. And that’s just for protein powder. We like to throw in psyllium and ground flax seed as well, so you can imagine that we were each easily consuming 10 pounds of valuable luggage weight. I sent a message to the national health food company, GNC for advice. Simple, they said. Just order from a Finnish company called Mass.fi. Okay. Seemed like a good suggestion.

After a bit of pre-ordering angst, we finalized our request. We had to mix and match brands and products since we discovered strange limits on importing—even within the EU. Then at the end of the ordering process, it seemed that we qualified for 3 free gifts, one from each of 3 categories. We tried to request 2 water bottles, good to take along on hikes. Our request was denied. Only 1 item from category 1. Move on to category 2, where choices included energy bars, super-charged with caffeine, so we opted for a shaker bottle. Category 3 consisted of various T-shirts. We wear T-shirts while gardening, so that seemed okay. But when we enlarged the graphics, the shirts were definitely designed for body builders. They didn’t look like us. The lizards in the garden would probably not be amused—nor the cats, or the bees. In fact, they might even be more aggressive after getting their first glimpse of such outrageous garb. However, not wanting to turn down a free gift, we opted for the “Go Heavy or Go Home” shirt.

Within a day after placing the order, we received notice that the package had been shipped. They provided a tracking number so that we could imagine our canisters of protein powder, merrily flying and train-ing their way to us. Within 3 days the package had left Finland. Woo-hoo!!! What efficiency!

Then the package plummeted directly into a black hole for 10 days. There were no updates, no progress reports, no helpful button saying “click here” when something goes awry.

Reluctantly, we composed a message on a Sunday evening to Mass.fi to ask for their help. Monday morning, a delivery notice arrived in our mailbox. Isn’t that always the way? Once you decide to take action, the problem goes away. It’s one of the undisputed laws of physics.

Our package was ready for pick up at the Pontassieve post office. As we climbed into the car, I admitted to Em that I had actually ordered a more than ample supply so that we could qualify for free shipping. “What’s that mean?” he asked. “It’s going to be heavy.” “How heavy?” “Oh, about 20 kilograms,” I casually said. “Which is how many pounds?” he queried, suspecting that I’d already done the math. “A little more than double,” I hedged. “How much more?” “Okay, okay. The package will weigh about 44 pounds, so park close to the post office.” He squinted a little and shook his head.

We arrived at the post office and handed over the delivery notice and showed proper ID. The clerk went into the back room and several minutes later came out carrying our package—with the help of a husky colleague. The box looked absolutely horrible, like they rolled it from Finland. Em took the badly pummeled package from them and said, “I’ll take it to the car while you finish up.” The 2 clerks seemed relieved. Em looked as though he had just been given an over-sized accordion that he didn’t know how to play. He carefully compressed the sides enough to hold the box and its contents together for maybe 5-7 more minutes.

He barely got to the car without a runaway canister escaping through the gaping hole in the corner of the box. Once home, he carefully jostled his way up the steps, finally setting the amorphous shape on the footstool. Miraculously, we found that the contents were totally intact when we unloaded everything onto the floor.

The good news is that we now have enough protein powder for at least a year! But now. . .what about that psyllium and flax seed?!!?

Posted on October 8, 2010

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