Your Honor,

On behalf of the People, we are requesting detailed information about what is going on beneath our sidewalks and streets. There is undoubtedly a major cover-up underway and we intend to unearth the truth and get to the bottom of this hideous and confusing situation.

The following photo was taken in what was once our beautiful “America’s Finest City” center near the intersection of Broadway and State Street.

Just look at this mess of urban hieroglyphics.

We assume this is supposed to be a map of the underground utilities. For starters, we don’t know anyone who would be capable of deciphering those ridiculous snakey symbols. And how  could they possibly translate them to something useful in the tangled underworld?

For cryin’ out loud people, what we have here is a recently finished sidewalk ramp (see the fresh new concrete curb and pavers above), along with another irregular patched-up street that’s now covered in disgusting orange graffiti. And if that’s not enough, it’s all evidently slated for major demolition that’s too complicated for anyone to decipher. The entire area will be sliced and diced yet again.

Our once beautiful street has become the canvas for incomprehensible demo “instructions.” Oddly enough, breaking the asphalt would destroy the very map of those essential utilities buried below. Although these contractors/craftsmen may be quite proficient with heavy machinery, demolition will certainly require an aggressive steam-shovel or a not so delicate jack-hammer that will wreak havoc once again. This isn’t going to be pretty.

To amuse ourselves we imagined what the symbols might mean. We set out to decode some of the orange hen-scratches in this absurd display of government-authorized tarmac graffiti. Below is the preliminary evidence we offer for your consideration. However, no matter what we figure out, someone must at the very least, answer for the obvious violations of spray can over-reach and asphalt cover-up.

We certainly haven’t completed our investigative work yet, but wanted to share some of the early results before something changes or the paint fades. Help us solve this mystery. Time is of the essence!

The People’s Evidence

Exhibit A

Clearly, what we see here isn’t about utilities at all. Instead, the ICOX! Is code for “I can only exit!—meaning, whoever begins digging in that spot will need to leave work immediately and not return to the job site until a new pay package is approved. In other words, there is an impending strike being planned right before our eyes. Beware!

Exhibit B

This codex is one of the oldest tricks used in street graffiti. Those lines are the directions from that very intersection to the designated road (in red) and diner where all workers will meet for breakfast at 7:00 am on the “start day.” The “C” and the line beside it indicate that they have great coffee (free refills) and an alley in the back for parking.

Exhibit C

That unusual white mark forming the top of a “T” signifies that they will all be riding together in Tom’s white “Crew Cab” pick-up truck (room for 6 total, first come first served). The other lines around it are merely distractions to confuse the un-initiated—very clever indeed.

Summary

The public has a right to know what’s hidden beneath their streets. The time has come for urban transparency! Don’t you agree, that after seeing the above evidence, what we have here is a perfect example of  “Civil Mapping Abuse,” which needs to be exposed. The evidence can no longer be ignored nor obfuscated with the excessive use of orange spray paint!  We intend to fully reveal the truth about what is going on above and below the very ground we walk on. We need some clear indication that our concerns and our words, although not orange, have weight.

The People rest, uneasy and with trepidation,

Thank you Your Honor.

Related Story

Speaking of street graffiti, you might also be interested in another story called “Expression: Art or Vandalism,” which explores some interesting and quite humorous examples of civilian alterations to public street signs at home and abroad. Just click the link above to check it out.